Contrary to what many women believe, men love to sit together and talk. Let me clarify my statement; men love to sit together and talk about a shared passion like sports, hunting, fishing, cars, motorcycles, action movies, camping, mountain biking, climbing, spelunking, off-roading, building projects or even work. This differs greatly from women who enjoy talking about fashion, makeup, hair, clothing, shoes, emotions, feelings, children, frustrations, and people – especially their husbands or significant others. When women meet to talk they connect on a personal level whereas men connect on a task oriented level.
I am somewhat of an anomaly in that I can sit and talk with men about guy things and yet feel very comfortable talking to women as well. You see I am a manly metro sexual. I enjoying working out, watching movies laced with bullets and fast cars, outdoor adventures, camping and getting dirty under a truck. I also enjoy buying and wearing shoes, wearing trendy clothing, styling my hair and going to social gatherings. I have always been comfortable sitting with a group of women and discussing the subjects that are important to them as much as I enjoy talking to guys. I have spent most of my career in business industries dominated by women and feel completely at ease.
I have desired to start a men’s accountability group, but have been terrified at the prospect of it. I love to sit and talk to guys about fast cars and white water rafting, but cannot fathom being successful at moving the conversation into emotions and failures. You see, men don’t like to talk about emotions and failures, especially with other men. Many men would rather get their teeth pulled. Emotions are difficult for us to discuss because we have trouble expressing them in words. Where women often deal with hurts and frustration, men deal with anger and resentment. Anger is the faux pas of American culture. Happiness and sadness are totally acceptable but anger is the evil nemesis of all other emotions. For that reason we don’t like discussing emotions mainly because we don’t want to admit we have them. Failures are even more difficult because we like to fix things. Admitting failure means that we are not perfect and have been unable to fix some character flaw in our lives. We hate discussing failures because we think doing so will make us become failures. Men avoid these topics like the plague and look for every opportunity to change the subject.
I honestly don’t have an answer about how to successfully start a men’s group. If you are reading this blog in hopes of finding Tim’s Ten Steps to Successful Men’s Accountability, you have wasted your time. I will say this – it’s important. We need each other and must find a way to sit and talk about our emotions and failures because it is urgent that we overcome those failures and console one another in times of need. Many men are hurting but afraid to tell anyone. That hurt creeps into their hearts and they look for ways to fix it. Some become depressed while others hold to their anger for look for answers in the arms of another woman or the bottom of a bottle. Because of our inability to communicate we often become weak husbands and fathers. We need to be accountable and we should encourage one another. I don’t have an answer for how to start a successful men’s group but I think all men need to become a part of one. – Tim
PS – For those expecting a “Funny Friday,” I apologize. I just really needed to talk about this today.
I am somewhat of an anomaly in that I can sit and talk with men about guy things and yet feel very comfortable talking to women as well. You see I am a manly metro sexual. I enjoying working out, watching movies laced with bullets and fast cars, outdoor adventures, camping and getting dirty under a truck. I also enjoy buying and wearing shoes, wearing trendy clothing, styling my hair and going to social gatherings. I have always been comfortable sitting with a group of women and discussing the subjects that are important to them as much as I enjoy talking to guys. I have spent most of my career in business industries dominated by women and feel completely at ease.
I have desired to start a men’s accountability group, but have been terrified at the prospect of it. I love to sit and talk to guys about fast cars and white water rafting, but cannot fathom being successful at moving the conversation into emotions and failures. You see, men don’t like to talk about emotions and failures, especially with other men. Many men would rather get their teeth pulled. Emotions are difficult for us to discuss because we have trouble expressing them in words. Where women often deal with hurts and frustration, men deal with anger and resentment. Anger is the faux pas of American culture. Happiness and sadness are totally acceptable but anger is the evil nemesis of all other emotions. For that reason we don’t like discussing emotions mainly because we don’t want to admit we have them. Failures are even more difficult because we like to fix things. Admitting failure means that we are not perfect and have been unable to fix some character flaw in our lives. We hate discussing failures because we think doing so will make us become failures. Men avoid these topics like the plague and look for every opportunity to change the subject.
I honestly don’t have an answer about how to successfully start a men’s group. If you are reading this blog in hopes of finding Tim’s Ten Steps to Successful Men’s Accountability, you have wasted your time. I will say this – it’s important. We need each other and must find a way to sit and talk about our emotions and failures because it is urgent that we overcome those failures and console one another in times of need. Many men are hurting but afraid to tell anyone. That hurt creeps into their hearts and they look for ways to fix it. Some become depressed while others hold to their anger for look for answers in the arms of another woman or the bottom of a bottle. Because of our inability to communicate we often become weak husbands and fathers. We need to be accountable and we should encourage one another. I don’t have an answer for how to start a successful men’s group but I think all men need to become a part of one. – Tim
PS – For those expecting a “Funny Friday,” I apologize. I just really needed to talk about this today.
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