6:30 AM
Me: “How are you doing this morning?”
Coworker: “Busy.”
Me: “I find it hard to get going so early in the morning.”
Coworker: “Oh, I am a morning person; I’m up at 4:00 anyway so if I come into work at 9:00, I have already worked a full morning at home.”

Me: “I get up at 5:15 a.m. to come to work each day and after 6 years on the job, it’s still a struggle. I guess I’m not meant to be a morning person.”

I’m getting ahead of myself, so let me take a moment to time travel. When I was a child my family lived down the road from the bus driver. This meant that I was the first person to board the bus each morning (unless the bus driver’s granddaughter had stayed at his house). I lived on a gravel road in the backcountry of West Tennessee. I was on the bus between 1.5 to 2 hours each morning. This meant that I was waiting on the bus around 6:15 a.m. I can remember many mornings of awakening between 5:00 and 5:30, getting ready and standing in the cold, dark morning air awaiting a bus that would pass by my house if I wasn’t out there but could be anywhere from 10 to 25 minutes late even though I was the first stop. I remember standing by my mailbox one morning and watching the bus pass right on by because he had not seen me. Those were not happy times for me. One of my biggest memories is the constant thought I had as a child that I would not ever work at a job that required me to be up before the sun. I figured that I would have the freedom to make that decision when I grew up and holding on to that hope kept me going on many of those cold, dark mornings. In case you think I am exaggerating about my morning moods, I distinctly remember that my parents had a difficult time getting me up. I slept through the alarms and my mother had somehow developed a way to awaken me. I can remember her needing to work a late shift at work and dad being the one to wake me up. He would either drag me out of bed or pour water on me. I was not a happy camper in the mornings and to say I detested the morning would be a vast understatement.

Now I am an adult and guess what? I get up at 5:15 each morning to get ready for work. You would think that having done so for so many years as a child it would be easy now but it is not. I don’t need water splashed on me and I don’t get dragged out but my wife gently pushes on my arm a few times to get me rolling. I have a system… I stumble (and I mean literally stumble) to the bathroom, proceed to shower and shave. I have some of that expensive men’s shampoo and conditioner that tingles (no not the dandruff stuff, this is the stuff that comes from the salon). I also use a strong men’s body wash because I have found the strong smells tend to help awaken my senses. I somehow manage to shave, brush my teeth and get dressed in clothing that I preselected the night before. Choosing my clothing in the morning would be unwise, to say the least.  After getting dressed, I get my morning coffee, clamber into the car and drive in the darkness for 30 minutes. You may want to stay off the road at that time if you live in southern Illinois – just kidding; I manage to stay alert while driving. I arrive at work around 6:30 and generally start working on reports or visiting with my staff – it all depends upon my level of alertness.  Usually by 7:00 or 7:30, I feel alright and manage to make it through the rest of the day.

I managed to not live up to my childhood dream of not getting up early. I have come to realize it’s my ‘thorn in the flesh.’ For those not versed in the Bible, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Paul speaks about his ‘thorn in the flesh’: “ So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Now I know that there will be some out there who will get all religious and pompous and will tell me that it is all about my attitude. They will try to guilt me into liking the mornings by telling me that I should be thankful and need to spend it in prayer and reading my Bible; that each morning is a gift. People who give that advice generally come from one of two groups:  1.They happen to be morning people and have no clue what it is like for those of us who are built differently or 2. They don’t get up early themselves, but somehow think they are experts about morning attitudes. You do sometimes meet a convert who hated the a.m. but somehow learned to love it. Those people inspire me and because of them I have tried more than once to genuinely love the morning. I have focused on having the right attitude, tried to pray – although I could never seem to concentrate deep enough to do so – attempted to read but actually the prayer and reading just made me sleepier. I am a deep sleeper and getting up early just messes it all up – it always has. And yes, I do go to bed earlier but that doesn’t really help much either. Unless God works a miracle, I am just not a morning person.

It’s my thorn in the flesh, but that’s okay. Paul wanted his thorn removed and pleaded with God to do so. God chose not to remove it, but instead reminded Paul about grace.  Paul decided to boast in his weakness, to be content with it and to remember that his strength comes from the Almighty. I will do the same. Mornings may not be my friend, but I can still have victory over them and I have a daily reminder that God has given me grace and He makes me strong.  What’s your ‘thorn in the flesh?’

-Tim

Do we really care about other people? It seems I get inundated with requests to donate money to help out people in need each year around this time. My wife and I decided a few years back that we would teach our kids about giving each Christmas and pick a charity to support. This year we each made shoebox gifts for children in need who live in the Appalachian Mountains. It has been a very rewarding experience and we are thrilled to have this opportunity, but I am sitting here and wondering if I really care.

Did you notice that I earlier used the word ‘inundated?’ I know that carries a negative connotation and I used it deliberately.  I used it because it is a proper description of how I often feel. I know that I cannot financially help every charity. That isn’t what bothers me though. What really troubles me is how stagnant my reaction is to the suffering of others. It seems that with each image I see or paragraph I read I become more desensitized. I know that children are dying and understand that buying a goat and chickens can help feed a village in a third world country. I am very aware that the large cause of death in the world is lack of access to clean drinking water, but I seem to not feel it anymore. Those images and words that once tugged at my heartstrings seem to do very little these days.

I’m just being honest here, but I seem more concerned with how uncomfortable I feel in cold weather – even with my warm clothes and dry, heated buildings – than I am with the real suffering of others.  I easily become obsessed with my distaste for winter and desire for the warmth of summer while there are people dying due to their exposure to the elements. I am no longer ‘distracted’ by people who beg for food because I have become very accustomed to ignoring them.  I wonder if I would even send shoebox gifts to financially disadvantaged children if it didn’t make me feel good or serve as a ‘teachable moment’ to my children.

I am an average American. The citizens of this great country provide much to those in need but I wonder if we really care. Are we working in a soup kitchen because we care or because we feel it’s an obligation? Do we give to the Salvation Army because we understand the plight of those they serve or do we just feel guilty when we don’t? If those children we send shoe boxes to were our own, would it make a difference? I think we often have done the right thing but quite possibly not for the right reason. How often have you donated something knowing you could count it as a deduction on your taxes? How often have you gone Christmas shopping and were more concerned about what you were going to buy for yourself or your family than what you were going to provide to someone in need?

I think most Americans are guilty of this but we shouldn’t be. Just because the majority of people are desensitized does not make it a societal mandate. Let’s make a goal together this year. I propose we decide to search our hearts and rekindle the emotions inside our beings. Don’t be afraid to look at the images of the starving children, it’s okay to cry when you realize how desperately they need your help. It’s alright to have compassion; in fact I think it’s necessary. Don’t let this Christmas pass by without taking some time to find love in your heart. When you start to complain about how cold you feel in your winter coat or sitting in your heated leather seat, instead take some time to think about the homeless man or woman who lives in the cold and doesn’t even own a decent pair of shoes. Maybe she wouldn’t be complaining if she were sitting in your place.

-Tim

None of us enjoy admitting our flaws. We often like to pretend that we have no flaws. Other people need to make changes but we are perfect, right? I am sure that everyone who reads my blog is the absolute picture of perfection.

That is simply not true. It’s not true for you and it’s not true for me. I have flaws; some that I am aware of and others that I am blind to, but I have a many things I should change about my life.  Since Thanksgiving is just around the corner, I am going to confess one of my flaws and it may surprise some of my readers.

I can be a very critical person. I can be critical of myself and others. I’m pretty good and looking at the glass as half full, or at least appearing to do so, but my first response is often to criticize. I admit that there is a little Jerry Seinfeld floating around in my subconscious. I judge people who maintain poor hairstyles, wear unmatched or dated clothing, or just don’t live up to their potential. I am also critical about projects. I expect the worst from a new change at work or look for the problems when asked to do an assignment. I’m great at noticing crooked pictures on the wall or layers of dust on the shelf and quick to point it out to those closest to me. I think it is my way of measuring up my environment and making myself feel superior in some lowly fashion. .. In case you are wondering, I am already criticizing today’s article.

 Thanksgiving can often be hard for those of us that lean toward criticism. We expect the weather to be bad, problems with the food, arguments with the family, etc.  We look for the inconsistencies and miss the point of Thanksgiving – being thankful.

Today I confess my flaw and I am making a commitment to focus on those thinks I am thankful for. I am not going to nitpick this Thanksgiving; I’m going to enjoy time with my family. I am going to be thankful. I have so much to be thankful for and giving thanks is always better than giving criticism.

How about you, will you be thankful this year?

-Tim

Around the age of nine I became exposed to pornography. My parents never talked to me about pornography, I’m sure they never thought they needed to. My parents loved me very much and would have been appalled at what I was viewing in other people’s homes. Viewing pornography led to experimenting with what I was seeing and even sexual abuse. I know that’s grotesque, but at 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 years old I didn’t know any different. No one told me looking at lewd, sexually explicit images was wrong. After all, if adults had it in their homes, then surely it must be ok. Here’s the problem with viewing pornography at such a young age, sexual desires are awakened and they never go away. Once you’ve had chocolate, you never forget what it tastes like. Pornography is the same, it is highly addictive and once you have a taste of it, it’s like turning a kid loose in a candy store for the first time, you can never get enough. What’s worse is that I never told my parents or an adult what was going on, if I had, maybe I could have understood that what I was seeing was wrong. What it did do was feed curiosity and fuel promiscuity into my teenage years. After I became a Christian at age 18, those desires were squelched for a while, but they eventually resurfaced. Those desires breathed life and it led to premarital sex. I realize as an adult that I am responsible for my actions; however, I cannot ignore the fact that being exposed to pornography at such a young age fed a fire that would take a miracle to put out. Jesus is my miracle and I don’t have a problem with pornography any more. In the mean time, I know there are kids and parents living in the dark about pornography and pornography trends among youth. A lot of the trends now days have to do with computers and the internet.

Here’s my advice to parents to keep what happened to me as a child from happening to your children.

1.     You do not have to let your child go to every sleep over, play date, etc. I know that you cannot protect your kids from everything, life happens. However, we live in an age where parents hardly ever tell their kids no because they don’t want to make them upset. If your child wants to hang out with friends, have them at your house where you know what’s going on behind closed doors. Buy a ton of snacks, get a ping pong table and make your home the coolest place in the neighborhood to hang out. If your child is allowed to go to another child’s home by themselves, talk to them! Talk about inappropriate images, bad touching, and yes, sex. My kids are age 10 and 8 and I talk to them about pornography, bad touching, alcohol, and drugs. I want them to know they can always talk about these subjects without feeling weird. I want to equip them to tell adults and friends no anytime they are uncomfortable. Give them a way out. Make sure they have your phone number and can call you anytime. And parents, if your child comes home and tells you about inappropriate things that happened, believe them.

2.     Do not let your child have a computer in their room where you are not able to view what they are searching on the internet. According to Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the Family, this is a sure way for your kids to have access to inappropriate web sites without your knowledge. If you are one of those parents who think your little angel would never do anything like that, WAKE UP!!!!! Your kids are human and yes, curious. In a 2006 study done by Family Safe Media, the largest demographic searching for nude pictures on the internet is age 18 and younger. This age group is also either the highest or the second highest demographic looking at these search words on the internet: porn, sex toys, teen sex, free sex, free porn, and teen porn. Family Safe Media also provides other eye opening statistics:

·        The average age for children viewing pornography is age 11

·        The largest consumers of pornography on the internet are ages 35 to 49

·        Seventy percent of 15 to 17 year olds have had exposure to hard core porn

·        Ninety percent of 8 to 16 year olds have viewed porn online mostly while doing their homework

·        Names of characters your children might look up on the internet and can be linked to porn sites, Pokemon and Action Man

3.     Understand that your children do not need to type in sexually explicit words to find porn on the internet. Pornographers buy expired domains that have nothing to do with pornography, like Pokemon. They buy the domain at an incredible price, keep the name of the domain, but display pornography. Your child may come across pornography simply by looking up topics that are related to homework. Pornographers are crafty and sly individuals who want your kids to see their sexually explicit images. Imagine little Johnny doing a homework assignment on George Washington. He types in the president’s name on google, clicks on a link, and there in front of him are pictures of nude people. He is embarrassed, so he tries to click off the link, however, he can’t because these pornographers have a little trick up their sleeve called “mousetrapping” where multiple pornography pages begin to loop onto the page and you cannot shut them off. This is why it’s important to have the computer in a place where you can see what they’re looking up. (You can visit www.familysafemedia.com for lots of other helpful information on children and pornographic websites.)

4.     Make sure you are spending as much time with your kids as possible. Our culture and society have our kids involved in so many activities, we are running ourselves ragged. Gone are the days of dinner at the table and weekends spent together. Your child doesn’t need to be involved in everything. They do need you to be involved in developing their heart, not just their athletic or music abilities. I know, I was involved in lots of stuff as a kid, softball, swim team, volleyball, basketball, track, music lessons, band and choir. Looking back on my childhood, I wish my parents would have said no to me being in everything and focused more on spending time together. It’s during family time where communication blossoms and you can talk about topics like pornography. The devil wants you and your kids to be distracted, he wants you to be too busy to communicate. Mark my words, if you don’t communicate with your kids, he will.  Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities in the heavenly place.” NLT

The devil is an advocate for pornography and you must fight him by communicating truth to your children.

In closing I would like to say that you can never be too informed about pornography and its effects on your family. The number one demographic searching for pornography on the internet are ages 35 to 49. Individuals ages 35 to 49 are likely to be parents and have children living at home. According to Family Safe Media, the place where children are most likely to see pornography, is in the home. My conclusion, parents, if you are looking at pornography, so are your kids and the damage is life changing.

Do whatever you can to protect your child’s innocence.

Darla Harms

I have spent most of my life worrying about my image. I would often bend over backwards to try to talk or act in a way that would appeal to whomever I was with at the moment. I purposely looked for ways to address them so as not to be offensive. Taking a stand on anything has proven difficult due to this attitude. By straining to maintain an image of someone who is tolerant, I have removed my own identity. I think most of this has developed from being raised in a culture that grossly promotes political correctness. As of late I have realized that this can be a very destructive force to a society and I will spend today explaining why.

Political Correctness vs. Respect
I will begin by defining the terms: 

Politically Correct:
Also, PC or p.c.  Showing an effort to make broad social and political changes to redress injustices caused by prejudice. It often involves changing or avoiding language that might offend anyone, especially with respect to gender, race, or ethnic background. For example, Editors of major papers have sent out numerous directives concerning politically correct language. This expression was born in the late 1900s, and excesses in trying to conform to its philosophy gave rise to humorous parodies.1

Respect:

1. Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.
   
2. Deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.2 
   

Respect is doing your best to honor a person while political correctness is attempting to be like that person. You can have respect for another person and be honest about your views on a subject in which you differ but you can quickly become politically incorrect by stating those views.

Let me give a clear example of what I mean. I personally believe in what has been defined as the traditional view of marriage, i.e. one man marrying one woman. I can state that viewpoint and still respect those with opposing views. I cannot, however, state that point and be what is currently defined as politically correct. In today’s American society, to remain politically correct I either need to say that I agree that all people have the right to marry, no matter the gender/number or just remain silent if I oppose that viewpoint. I am considered a disrespectful bigot if I exert my opinion. Therefore, society pressures me to either remain silent or change my views when they oppose the current popular social norm. Respect, on the other hand, allows me to openly state how I feel. I may generate opposition from those who are equally passionate for the opposing view, but if we respect each other we can openly debate without demeaning one another.

In my opinion, political correctness breeds dishonesty. It stifles anyone who agrees with what has recently been defined as the popular stance of modern society. It requires one to change his/her beliefs in order to fit in or be liked by others. It is a type of speech control with the goal of suppressing those in opposition of current trends. Being a device used by socialist governments to control the population, political correctness actually annihilates the freedom of speech.

Summary
I began by explaining how I have spent most of my life trying to get others to like me. I have often shied away from debates because I did not want to offend someone. I have recently come to realize that I have been suppressing who I am and diluting the God I serve simply to save face. Whose face am I saving if I cannot be honest about how I feel? Am I truly benefiting anyone by not openly sharing what is taking place in my mind? I have come to the decision that I cannot let others control my life. I need to be Tim McSwain, not someone else. I will continue to respect the right that we all have to believe what we want but I will no longer be ashamed of my core beliefs or of the name of Jesus Christ. Some people may choose to no longer be my friend because I make them feel uncomfortable, but I guess that will show me who my true friends really are. I also want others to feel that they can be honest with me. Chances are we will disagree about something, but if we respect one another we can grow closer despite our differences.

My advice: Learn the value of respect and quit being so stinking politically correct.

-Tim

Bible Postscript
Ephesians: 4:11-16 ESV “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, theshepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather,speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who isthe head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”

1. politically correct. Dictionary.com. The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. Houghton Mifflin Company.http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/politically correct (accessed: August 01, 2012).

2. respect. Dictionary.com, LLC. Copyright © 2012. All rights reserved. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect?s=t